Guilt seems to come at us from all over the place. We feel "mommy guilt" because we let our kids watch TV when we just need a break already for 30 minutes. Because we fed them junk food once this week (okay, maybe more than once.). Because we didn't have their baseball uniform washed on time and had to pick it out of the bottom of the dirty laundry hamper (of course that has never happened to me, cough). Because we haven't done the "thing" we were supposed to do, according to whatever study has come out today. You know those "studies" - the ones that tell you to do one thing this week and then will be refuted next week by another one?
I had a big dose of mommy guilt this week. Today little Mr. Iain is on a field trip with his play school group to our local kiddie amusement park, the Land of Make Believe. It's a cute place that's just for little kids - all the rides are pint sized. I've been there soooo many times over the years with the older boys. Iain didn't have to go today as Wednesday is not his normal play school day. So I didn't sign him up. But then the school said that he could go if he wanted to. Sure, I said!
But then it dawned on me...do I have to go with him? I know many other mommies are going. But to be honest, I just couldn't stand to go there again. Even though he'll have a blast on this beautiful sunny spring day. It would be priceless to see his little face on the car/airplane/dragon/boat/etc rides. I could get some really cute photos for the scrapbook. But, truth be told, I would much rather spend the day in my basement sorting though the piles of paperwork on my desk and maybe catching a few minutes of the View.
There are days when Mommy needs a break. Desperately. Does not taking my son to the park make me a bad mom? Good Lord, no. But do I feel guilty about it? Well, yeah. For a few minutes anyway. Until I realized that he's fine with his teachers - who are all wonderful. That he's not going to be crying for me because I'm not there. That because I've had a few hours to myself, I will be much more patient with ALL my boys when they explode into the house later this afternoon and leave their school papers, shoes and dirt scattered all over my newly vacuumed carpet.
Sometimes we just need to give ourselves a break. Guilt free. I've enjoyed every bit of mine today.